Save My Children
Last week before bed, my beautiful, sincere, smart, rock-star seven year old, Isabelle, told me that she was worried about something. I pulled her in close and asked her to tell me what it was.
“Sometimes I worry that God isn’t real and it’s all just a lie”, she said with shame.
I remember struggling with the same EXACT thing for a large portion of my life. My deep, dark ghost was doubt until I was in my 30’s. I mean, the biggest, most mysterious question in all of the universe that continues to plague the minds of men is the issue of God’s existence and why we’re here.
When I told her that asking questions and wondering about it all was actually a good thing that I was encouraged by, I could see relief wash over her. “Really?”, she asked me. I told her that the Bible tells us to work out our faith with fear and trembling, so, it’s a serious thing that we all need to work out in our hearts and minds. The Father draws us and Holy Spirit opens our eyes to the truth of Christ, but even once we’ve believed the gospel by faith, we are to rightly consider where we are and how what we believe aligns with Holy scripture continually. We should never stop learning and growing from the deep deep well of scripture. The more we pursue God through His Word, the more He will bend and reign in our own will and conform us to the likeness of His Son. I’m not the author or perfecter of my faith. God is, and through the truth of His living Word, He’ll do the work.
What I’m blessed by is that she’s constantly asking me questions when she doesn’t understand something, and that’s one of my greatest joys of being a father. I don’t want her to just blindly accept something because it was taught to her whether by a teacher, a movie, secular culture, or by me. I mean, we’re the parents who convictionally tell our kids that Santa and the Easter bunny aren’t real, and as a consequence, I’m pretty sure they’ve ruined that for a few other kids. Haha. Sorry out there. I’ll write on that around the holidays - but either way, she’s still at the age where she’s just trying to understand the basics of the gospel, and I’m encouraged by the questions at this point. It means she’s working it out. It matters to her, and what comes with that is a fear that maybe it’s not true - the hurdle of belief that all believing Christians walk, crawl, or climb over at some point once they’ve been exposed to the truth.
This won’t be the end of the conversation with her, but as my children traverse the landscape of their spiritual journeys, my ultimate prayer is that in the sovereignty of God, He would save them and that my actions as a fallen human would point them to Christ rather than get in the way. I pray something like this almost every day:
Father God, please save my children. They are Yours, not mine. May Your Holy Spirit opens their eyes and give them life. May they see the darkness of their sin, and the beauty and glory of the Savior. All Your plans are perfect. I don’t care if I never see their salvation in this life. Even if they go wayward, run from You, and You save them after I’m already gone, so let it be, please save my children.
